yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
