My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
