You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
