Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
