Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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