you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We left the knife in your bed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize