Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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