Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
