Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
