More tranny stories later!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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