Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He passed out mid-signature
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
