so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
