bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize