Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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