Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
