dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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