Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
