I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize