with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
