How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I lost the right to judge tonight
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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