We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
