You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize