If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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