$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
