Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
