I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We got so high we made milksteak
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize