I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
