Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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