Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
