can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
