is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
