He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
