We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
