i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
