I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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