i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
