Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
