omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
