At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
