good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
