is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
