That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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