i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
