Sry I called you an 8
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
pray to the hookup gods
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