i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
