I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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