Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its not stalking. its research.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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