I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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