Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
