I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
