Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
