Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
