after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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