at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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