I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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