Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have aggressive nipples.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
