I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
