some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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