I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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