The maid of honor just puked.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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