Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
