So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
