the new term for farting is butt boxing.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
