Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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