What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
