i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
