I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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