his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
