she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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