dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
