i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
