She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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