If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
