It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
