guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
