I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
