wrigley field is MILF paradise
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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