I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
