just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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