so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
His nipple licking is glorious
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