I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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