Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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