If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
