i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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