I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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