I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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