I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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